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If you haven’t done a detox this year or you yet to start your yearly “Juice Diet” best you get started its almost February.
We wouldn’t want you delaying becoming “Wonderwoman” or “Wolverine” as you haven’t “cleansed your gut”.
Whilst you at it, best you put your liver and kidneys on the black market because they really aren’t all that well engineered and are just taking up vital space for your carrot pulp and apricot skins to turn you into a lean healthy machine.
However because you’re reading this, you clearly are one step ahead of the “celebrity diets” and haven’t fallen into this ludicrous trap.
Detoxing and “juice cleansing” is great for enabling your body to reduce waste, other than that there is absolutely no science based evidence that it does anything more than burn a hole in your wallet and a bigger hole in your brain.
Quite simply, juices are high in calories, fragmenting your fruit and veg into pulp removes the essential fiber, they lack essential nutrients and inevitably stop you from pooping so leaving you full of shit.
The long queue of women in tights waiting for their “berry blaze” haven’t pooped since our last solar eclipse. Miraculously the human body processors fibre and has been doing a great job of it long before nutribullet started blitzing bananas. We have bacteria in our gut that pulverizes what is not essential, let it do its damn job.
Our impeccably assembled human bodies are designed to remove the body of unspecified toxins. You wouldn’t walk into a restaurant kitchen and start cooking your own meal would you? Let the damn chef do his/her job!
I drank about 30 beers in the 5 days I was in the Czech Republic last year, I probably got more nutrition from that than you would in 3 days of detoxing. Thank goodness for my strategically placed organs or I would not have come out of Europe alive.
I get so passionate about nutritional stupidity that I sometimes steer off course. I love a good list so lets break down why we should NOT detox or ‘juice cleanse’.
1) You wont lose weight
2) The natural sugars from all the ‘juicing’ will cause blood sugar swings
3) Your body needs fiber
4) You will get a huge insulin release, your body will shuttle it off to the liver where it will convert it to fatty acids and get stored in your butt, your waist and your ‘not so love handles’
5) More fruit equals more calories, equals more sugar, equals more conversion to fat, equals more fat to lose when you realize how stupid you are being.
6) Nowhere on any food pyramid, triangle or food label does it ever say that ground up vegetables and fruit are good nutrition. Protein, carbohydrates and fat are the pinnacle of good nutrition.
If you want to juice because you battling to get in your daily vegetable and fruit requirements then by all means do so, but please don’t label it “holier than thou nutrition” and try to do it in moderation. It is still better to eat these beauties whole though, or add a scoop of protein make it more nutritionally complete.
Other than that, just stop it.
If your diet is substandard, if you are looking to lose weight, feel better, improve your energy, improve your health or just look better naked, then eat better food, make better choices, exercise. 5 days of blitzed berries & pulverized peaches isn’t going to give you any of the above.